And I Bet You Thought There Would Be Nothing New Today

MORE THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT MY NEW JOB


1. I am not allowed to initiate Jihad on the French guy.

2. I am not allowed to sell the French guy on Ebay.

3. I should stop calling the French guy "Pierre" and learn his first name.

4. The official title listed in my signature block should not say "Infidel"

5. When sitting at the French guys desk I am not allowed to answer the french guys phone with "Oui"?

6. I am not allowed to wear flip flops to work even though it is the official footwear of Hawaii.

7. When refering to any US state other than my home state of Texas, I should refer to them by their official state name and not "Those whom we do not speak of"

8. I am not allowed to refer to the french guys clown car sized hybrid as "The French Tickler"

9. A dashboard Jesus on top of my computer does not qualify as a religious symbol.

10. I am not allowed to make up new ranks nor am I authorized to promote the lower enlisted with them.

11. I am not allowed to enchant US Army weapons or equipment even if it does add +7 damage and makes it glow red. (If you didn't get this one, congratulations you're not a nerd)

12. I am still not allowed to yell "VIVA LA FRANCE" when the French guy walks in the door.