To the herd of cattle next doo

To the herd of cattle that live next door, Thank you.

The noise you make in the apartment next door is like a little slice of heaven and i'm so glad that I can enjoy the sounds of your children screaming like grizzly bears in heat. Are you in a rugby scrum over there? I average 70 hour work weeks and it's like a bouquet of fucking balloons when you wake me up in that little bit of time that I actually get to spend sleeping. I also adore the fact that your kids know exactly when to start playing in your loft, which also parallels mine, and they always seem to know exactly when im studying for my Sun Solaris exam or doing Arabic homework. How did you know that I don't actually need to know those things? Thanks for saving me from all of those hours I could have potentially wasted learning such crap!

You must be very proud that your little ones are capable of making noise equivalent to a 747 landing on sharded glass. No doubt they will go far in life. If an airport ever needs someone to stand on the edge of their runway and scare away potentially hazardous birds from landing aircraft, I think your kids will get the job.

Again, thanks, you guys give me a new purpose to life, and an added spring in my step.

I'm totally nominating you guys for neighbors of the year award.