March 2007 Archives

Q: What happens when you continuously delete my one and only tech icon from your desktop that only has THREE icons on it anyway because you think its "cluttered" and also because you think its funny to irritate me on purpose?

A: You get your permissions taken away and I create a 100 icons on your desktop that you CANNOT delete.

Dont piss off the tech, bitch.

This is photographic proof that i'm doing my duty as a responsible citizen and checking the United States Army's Military Police capabilities to catch speeding vehicles in Baghdad, Iraq. I'm happy to report that they are doing a fine job.

Iraq thought #562

I'm living in Retardville, and the mayor is my boss.


time in Iraq: 1210
itunes playing: Over My Head, The Fray

I am shorter than 5'5": Nope, i'm 5'9"

I have many scars: lots of little ones and then the big ole lets-take-out-your-appendix-scar.

I tan easily: I'm tan right now.

I wish my hair was a different color: Pshh...please... blondes and nerds rule the world...luckily i'm both.

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: Um, no.

I've had braces: Yes, in 8th grade, that age where everything sucked.

I wear glasses or contacts: 20/15 vision here baby.

I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger: Once, by a drunk chick in a bar. Drunk chicks count right?

I have freckles: Yep.

I failed more than 1 class: I majored in beerology in college, so yes, I wasted money on failing a few.

I've been fired: Not yet.

Disney movies still make me cry: I'm pleading the 5th here to preserve my tough girl reputation.

I've laughed so hard I've cried: The only way to live.

I've glued my hand to something: Just my fingers together, because super glue is very unforgiving to retarded people.

I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend: I'm a rugby player and all my friends are too...you do the math.

I've had my wisdom teeth removed: While stationed in Germany, one of the worst experiences of my life.

I had a serious surgery: Just when they yanked out my appendix right before it exploded.

I've gotten lost in my city: I get lost going to the bathroom.

I've seen a shooting star: I saw two the other night, here in Iraq.

I've wished on a shooting star: Every time.

I've gone out in public in my pajamas: I've gone to work in my pajamas.

I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator: Ok, i'm not THAT retarded.

I've been to a casino: Yes, and I totally partied with some old people at the nickel slots.

I've been skydiving: You must be fucking kidding me.

I drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour: Do I look like a jackass to you? Wait, don't answer that.

I've caught a snowflake on my tongue: Do I seem like the kind of person to have a Disney Channel type of moment where I catch a snowflake on my tongue?

I've played a prank on someone: Plenty.

I've eaten Sushi: Yes, and it was fucking gross.

I've been snowboarding: No, I break enough bones without going in search of getting injured.

I've hugged a stranger: Only drunk, and once I rubbed a bald chicks head for luck.

I own over 5 rap CDs: Guilty.

I own multiple designer pants and shirts, costing over $100 piece: Again, you must be kidding.

I own something from Hot Topic: Do I look like an angry pre-pubescent youth to you?

I own something from Pac Sun: Yes, but my excuse was living in Hawaii.

I own something from The Gap: A few shirts.

I own something from Abercrombie: Hell no.

I can sing well: No, not at all. I don't even sing to myself.

I open up to others easily: This one made me laugh a little.

I watch the news: No.

I sing in the shower: See above.

I am a morning person: Nightowl.

I am a sports fanatic: Yes, except golf and curling.

I twirl my hair: Never.

I bake well: This question would make my mother giggle. The answer is definitely no.

My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue: Blue, and I hate the color pink.

I sometimes wear pajamas to school: I almost always wore my pajamas to class.

I like Martha Stewart: Why is this a question?

I know how to shoot a gun: Like you wouldn't believe. You're lucky i'm a good guy.

I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS: You must be out of your fucking mind.

I laugh at my own jokes: Oh yes.

I am really ticklish: Again, pleading the fifth.

I love chocolate: on an unhinged level

I play video games: I'm a total nerd, of course I do.

I'm good at remembering faces: Photographic memory.

I'm good at remembering names: Only if I see it written.

I'm good at remembering dates: If i'm lucky i'll find a wife that can remind me of my mothers birthday, because i'm THAT bad at remembering dates.

I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life: I know exactly what I want.

My answers are totally honest: Yes.