May 2007 Archives
Dear Paris,
I hate to admit the fact that you having to serve some jail time is like getting a hug from Jesus, but it totally is.
gay for the stay,
GP
Dear Los Angeles Fire Department,
I realize that you have dozens of fire stations and thousands of trained firefighters, but in less than a week you will be visited by two men for which you have never prepared. Being the 2nd largest city in the United States and located in a part of California that has a daily earthquake sale, I know you are prepared for anything. I mean you have survived years of Andy Dick and Paris Hilton's album. So, who are these men? The Mob? Drug Dealers? Terrorist? Nope. Texans. And not just any Texans...my dad and my brother.
Don't worry though because much like how coyotes are more afraid of humans than we are of them, Texans are equally afraid of Californians as Californians are of Texans.
They are only going to be in your city for one day. They are going to pick up my brother's vehicles from the port of Long Beach and as they would like to say "high tail it outta there". I wouldn't be too worried about them loitering any longer unless you built a Bass Pro shop since the last time I visited or now have a deer hunting season.
If they do get out of hand I would say the boys could be subdued with a good meal of Bar-b-que, but last time I checked a good Texan man didn't appreciate his palate ruined with a meal of Bar-b-que made out of soy and wheat grass.
Good luck L.A.
love
Girlpunch,
P.S. If you hear a cackling laugh resembling Alan Aldas do not be alarmed. You are not having M.A.S.H flashback...thats just my dad.
I realize that you have dozens of fire stations and thousands of trained firefighters, but in less than a week you will be visited by two men for which you have never prepared. Being the 2nd largest city in the United States and located in a part of California that has a daily earthquake sale, I know you are prepared for anything. I mean you have survived years of Andy Dick and Paris Hilton's album. So, who are these men? The Mob? Drug Dealers? Terrorist? Nope. Texans. And not just any Texans...my dad and my brother.
Don't worry though because much like how coyotes are more afraid of humans than we are of them, Texans are equally afraid of Californians as Californians are of Texans.
They are only going to be in your city for one day. They are going to pick up my brother's vehicles from the port of Long Beach and as they would like to say "high tail it outta there". I wouldn't be too worried about them loitering any longer unless you built a Bass Pro shop since the last time I visited or now have a deer hunting season.
If they do get out of hand I would say the boys could be subdued with a good meal of Bar-b-que, but last time I checked a good Texan man didn't appreciate his palate ruined with a meal of Bar-b-que made out of soy and wheat grass.
Good luck L.A.
love
Girlpunch,
P.S. If you hear a cackling laugh resembling Alan Aldas do not be alarmed. You are not having M.A.S.H flashback...thats just my dad.
