The Craigslist ad that has catapulted me back into the bowels of lesbian dating hell

But on the other hand has scored me a few dates and new friendships with some really cool chicks.

Since the posting of this ad i've received right around 60 responses which isn't like American rock star cool, but maybe like a rock star in the Philippines cool.


50 reasons why you want to date me

1. I'll love you eights days a week.
2. You will score more points if you get the reference to number one.
3. I'll always know when you need a hug.
4. I know the difference between your and you're.
5. I'll always be attentive and loving...except during March Madness.
6. i'll never cheat.
7. I'll only smoke cigars on the porch.
8. I wont make you watch football with me.
9. My siblings are hilarious and my family is the equivalent of the white Jacksons.
10. I''l shut the door When I pee.
11. I'll make love to you all of the time and fuck you on occasion.
12. I'll wait up for you.
13. I'll cook you dinner but its going to suck.
14. I wont might blog about you.
15. I'm OK with you stealing my hoodies on cold nights.
16. I have great Army stories, but i'm out now.
17. I'll warm up your car on cold mornings.
18. I'm OK with your cold ass toes planted on me in the middle of the night.
19. I'm addicted to "Lost" and "The West Wing"
20. I'll pretend to like it when you drag me out shopping.
21. I'll kiss you goodbye every morning.
22. I'll thumb wrestle you in bed.
23. I'm a Cancer.
24. I'll fall asleep in your lap.
25. I'll always fight for you.
26. I'll love spooning you.
27. I've never suffered from lesbian bed death and i'll wake you in the middle of the night to prove it.
28. I'll send flowers to your office.
29. I'll need you to remind me of everyones birthdays and anniversaries.
30. I have a dangerous job that takes me away from you for months at a time and i'll need you to be OK with that.
31. I'm drug and drama free and you should be to. Life is hard enough as it is without creating problems. If I do create one, trust me its not because I like it, its because sometimes i'm just a dumbass.
32. I always give bums my spare change.
33. I will always be able to make you laugh.
34. I would rather be alone than be with the wrong woman.
35. I adore my parents.
36. I'll talk dirty to you in bed.
37. I'll take you Jeeping with my friends.
38. I want kids.
39. I'll always take care of you when you're sick. (see the correct usage of the word you're!?)
40. I'm stubborn, but you will always be able to make me melt.
41. I'm 33 but look 25. I still get carded for booze and occasionally the movies.
42. I'll be OK with you laughing at me if I get carded for the movies.
43. I wont be stinky too often.
44. I'll love it when you pick me up from the airport.
45. I don't look like a boy, and honestly i'm not into girls who do.
46. I don't use the words hym, boi or womyn and I think people who do are morons.
47. I'm not a snob unless you use the words hym, boi or womyn.
48. I'll use the corny joke I just heard in the office as an excuse to call you and say hello.
49. I'll let you put whatever you want in my Netflix que even if its a chick flick.
50. I could name more reasons why you want to date me, but at this point I want to hear 10 good reasons to date you.

Top Five Reasons I won't respond to your e-mail.
1. You're a guy.
2. You're married.
3. You're married.
4. You're married.
5. You're married.